The Day I Went Blind
O.K. It was just one eye. But it was MY eye. When I noticed a smudge in my vision late January, I assumed it was a scratched lens. I ordered a new pair of glasses, and went about my business. A couple of weeks went by, then while conducting a workshop, I noticed a small curtain drawing its ominous shadow across my line of sight.
The next day, my optometrist received a panicked call. The good doctor got me in at 9:45 AM. By 1:30 that afternoon, I was sitting in front of a retinal specialist. Twenty-four hours later, surgery was performed to save my eyesight. Seven days flat on my face followed, with lots of time to imagine the worst.
For six week, blindness engulfed half my world. Fear gripped my heart on several occasions. Although the surgery had a 90% success rate, I wondered if I was in that 10%.
Driving with one eye is no fun. Driving at night was impossible. For several weeks, my spouse walked on my right side to keep me from bumping into people. This west Texan doesn’t do dependance well.
Here are some challenging lessons I’ve learned: 1) It’s hard not to whine. 2) You don’t feel like praying. You feel like crying, (then you are back to the whining thing)! 3) When physically weak, you are driven deeper into dependance on God, and others.
Here some things that weren’t encouraging: 1) Advice…of any kind. My highly specialized surgeon and I will take care of my eye. We have left no stone unturned. 2) Stories of failed procedures. Seriously, beloved, need I say more?
What did help: 1) People who called, then let me talk without interruption for several minutes (even allowing me to whine a little bit)! These friends didn’t deign to give advice. Eventually, I got around to talking about my faith in healing, or in blindness. 2) People that said they loved me, and were praying for me. That was comforting.
This Bible verse continues to encourage me. “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part: then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.”
No matter the outcome, (and things are looking hopeful), some day I will see clearly. Even if my vision is not clear, I will understand. For the One who fully knows me has blazed this trail before.
I can follow the Light with one good eye.